Guess who?

Thought as the time was drawing near, I should share my feelings on the public holiday of 14th February. Yes that's right, Valentines Day.

St Valentine, was actually the name of many Saints who were killed in Ancient Rome. We do not know if this day celebrates all or just one of them. According to Jack Oruch, the tradition of Valentines Day did not exist until Geoffrey Chaucer created it in his fictional stories. Which brings me nicely onto the fact that we as a modern society have created our own version of a tradition that has become mainly a shopkeepers delight and a customers despair.

As soon as February begins, all the shops decorate their windows in red with lots of cupids and hearts, all fit for a Tin Man's convention. In particular, florists, chocolate shops and perfumeries expect a vast amount of business at this time, as they sell the normal gifts associated with this time of year at extortionate prices. In America alone, Valentines Day generates about £9 million - Is that the price of love? I guess no girl can ever refuse a bouquets of perfect red roses. (Well unless she is allergic of course) Chocolate is the way to anyone's heart these days and cute cards never fail to be romantic. Card websites such as moonpig.com sell personalised cards which are a sure success. However one read ' Andrew you and I are pretty usual. I am pretty and you are usual'. Anyone who sends that card is surely missing the point, maybe they think Valentines Day means 'dumping day!'

Now there are many opinions about the necessity of Valentines Day. Some believe it is just a product of consumerism designed to exploit the public and tarnish one of the true and honest things we have left in life; love. Others however enjoy the date, as they see it as an excuse to devote time and attention to their partner, that they wouldn't normally be able to. The argument to this however is, that couples should say 'I love you' everyday and so should not need to feel united by a date in order to show their love. Some however would say that an overuse of the phrase destroys its honesty and so they save it for personal special occasions only and not ones universally accepted.

I find that the importance of Valentines Day to a couple usually depends on the length of their relationship. Those in the honeymoon period might use the day as an excuse to be romantic, on the other hand a married couple might use it to re-capture their romance. I guess the whole premise is very subjective (There goes that word again!)

The single most infuriating aspect of the holiday has to be that its existence ensures that anyone who is single on that faithful date feels more alone and undesirable than any other day. I would guess that the most affected are single women who often feel like they need a man in order to function, or those recently dumped by a partner or even widowers. It is funny to think that a man-made tradition has become so widely observed and considered over the years that we allow it to take over our lives and our emotions. There are even Anti-Valentines Day bashes in some parts of America for those that want to openly show their distaste for the commercialised day!

Valentines day at my Secondary school was always fun, there would be a red post box at the front, where people could post their valentines. This was of course great for those that received multiples and humiliating for those that sat with none come February 14th (that was me...) Some parents acknowledged the difficulties of this and often wrote and sent mystery valentines to their children, so they would invest in the excitement of guessing who might have written to them, rather than commiserating their absent card. (I got one a few years running and knew it was my Mum!...if it wasn't please come forward now!)

Seems it all comes back again to this need for a happy ending...or maybe just a need to feel happy, a need for something out of the ordinary, something to look forward to, a need to be spoilt, to feel special, to feel important, to feel loved. I guess we all get used to our everyday lives and if that life includes a partner we get used to them being there and forget sometimes how much they mean to us or how empty we would feel if they were not there anymore.

One of the nice things this day achieves is the belief that it is okay to be demonstrative with love. We can openly and loudly tell someone we love them and not feel embarrassed or exposed but just content and happy that they want to hear it. Shakespeare sums this up beautifully in Macbeth, 'A heart to love, and in that heart, courage, to make love know.'