I'm not crying, that's just rain on my face!

While ironically funny, the above expression shows how some people deal with the body's biological reflex to an intense emotion. By definition, 'cry is from the Latin quiritare, to make a public outcry', which could relate to many different emotions, eg. sadness, frustration, anger. We often cry because we are trying to deal with a complex emotion and our brains react to this by releasing moisture from the eyes. It is a completely natural and biological action, therefore why are so many of us afraid of it?

Of course there is the stereotypical view that crying is a woman's game, as they are the most emotional sex and therefore men do not cry. Ever. However, some people consider the act of crying to be a weakness or an embarrassment. Granted not all tears are the same, sometimes uncontrollable sobbing can be quite dramatic and and so we may wish to cry in private, however the act can also be therapeutic. Directly linked to the grieving process, crying can help us to deal with our feelings of loss or bitterness as bottling up our tears can often lead to more sorrow and confusion.

Often tears can be created from the emotions and experience of others. For example, when we watch a sad film, or listen to a moving piece of music. This is of course different for each person and is subjective. While one might find a film heartbreaking another might not. In a debate with friends, some said that they can only follow a story emotionally if they can personally connect with the events that unfold. Only then may they feel emotional enough to cry. As a person who has no reservations about crying and often feels better after a small sob, during sad films my tears flow freely. Therefore a decent acting performance and a compelling storyline can send me sobbing, whether I can directly relate to the characters or not. Sometimes however if we expect a film to be really sad, it often doesn't live up to our expectations and we are left wondering why. Again it's just subjective!

I think it all comes down to control. Are we in control of our emotions? Even though crying is a biological reaction, some would say that we are in control of cour minds and bodies so we can control how we feel. I think some people are obviously better at this than others. I believe that if something is trying to escape than why fight it? Why be afraid or ashamed of it? Why justify it? Finally, do not be afraid of your tears. As Ryan Seacrest says, 'It's okay to cry, It's because you care.'

Love or Hate - There's a fine line....

Have you ever heard about how the feelings behind certain emotions are triggered by the same things? When it comes to how we feel, complete opposites become oddly linked. This is mostly found between the emotions of love and hate. As the famous quote by Francis Smedley says,'All is fair in love and war'.

I think we are often confused by the idea that the people we truly detest and spend our life resenting, being jealous of, or bullied by, we may subconsciously really want to like us. Or maybe we act in a hostile way towards them, because we just don't understand them and haven't taken the time to try.

Most people try to live their life by the rule that hate is a strong word and they should endeavour to avoid using it. By definition, 'hate is an intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury.' The confusion comes when we realise that hate is an intense emotion much like love. If we didn't care about the object of our hate in even a small capacity, we wouldn't spend the time and effort hating them in the first place. This is often why little boys tease and playfully hit girls in order to seem macho, when really they just fancy them. It can take years to reach emotional maturity and so we cannot always fully understand what our deep emotions are trying to tell us. Sigmund Freud observed that 'people are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate'.

What happens then, when we start to confuse our emotions and become unsure what we are actually feeling? When it comes to love, people are often scared to admit they are experiencing something that will mean giving away their heart and soul to someone else, as it also gives them the power to crush that heart or give back their love at any moment. I guess our feelings are greatly ruled by fear.

Our emotions usually change with different people. It has been said that you can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family. Obviously we would choose a romantic partner also. I believe that in terms of love and hate it is not necessarily about choice. The family bond we share with our relatives and loved-ones usually means that we vow to forgive and forget most things. As most grudges are overridden by a greater need for them as a person. What happens however when this can't be achieved? Have we failed in a universal necessity? What if sometimes the only emotion we can feel is hate in the form of anger, disappointment or apathy? I guess an example of this would be when someone finds their partner cheating, or when a child feels betrayed by a parent.

Often when we become accustomed to a situation and a person, we end up accepting them as they are and therefore try to ignore their faults and so fail to see when they are truly in the wrong. Once again if we are always the person to compromise and make-amends we are not ever solving the issue just pushing it further under the rug and building up more dust. I find that the main problems created within relationships come down to unfairness and disrespect. There are varying levels of respect expected depending on the relationship. We hope that in a romantic partnrship, respect would be mutual. It sometimes becomes tricky within family relationships as those with age and experience on their side are expected to recieve greater respect. Children are also taught to respect their elders, that means that however old those children get they will still have relatives older. So what happens when those children become adults and their elder is wrong or unreasonable? Are they absolved of this normal disrespectful behaviour, because this generational belief made no stipulations upon its creation? When it comes to family, the stakes are always higher because the love shared in these relationships is always the strongest. Therefore the opinions and judgements of these people will always matter the most.

I think it important to realise that most things in life are linked in one way or another. Love and hate are so similar because we cannot have one without the other. The same with a sickness and it's cure, in this instance that would signify, a disagreement and a solution. Martin Luther King Jr echoes this point, 'Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illumines it. I guess main item that links all these things is passion whether negative or positive, passion is present in everyday life. It it present within us as human beings in the form of an innate desire to live. Passion for love, Passion for hate, Passion for life. The line may be fine but it is intense nonetheless!