I'm done.
That's it.
It's over.
The end.
I quit.
How many times in our lives do we say these phrases?
We can attribute the above words to the really small mundane things in life, but also to the bigger picture.
After a hearty meal we announce we are finished, we cannot possibly cram in another bite. At the end of a workout when we are literally dripping with sweat and we can't put our bodies through any more pain so we yearn for the end to rest our aching muscles. When we call time on that relationship, because we can't have the same argument again. When finally we make the decision to give up on our dreams, because we can't bear the agony of reaching for them anymore.
Depending on the context, these phrases can mean different things. Therefore why does quitting always have a negative connotation?
We assume that when we have given up on something it means that we haven't had the strength to see it through to completion. We are only human and we can only endure so much. Of course our stamina is relative and dependant upon the lives we lead. Each one of us has our own set of goals and ideals we hope to achieve and live by. I just wonder, when is not reaching these goals ever universally acceptable?
We are taught from a young age to be competitive and to strive for our best; in education during our school years through academic achievement. In person through loving our neighbour and promoting the best in each other, and in life through reaching our own personal ambitions that we set for ourselves.
When we achieve something, we expect to endure hardship or difficulty on the road to that achievement. Otherwise the prize isn't worth having. We are led to believe we must always challenge ourselves to reach our full potential. But what if the challenge ultimately breaks us instead of making us? What if the race to the finish line kills our team spirit and makes us forget why we even started running? We watch others with their medals and our own glory is so far from grasp that just the thought of warming up for practice every day is exhausting. We feel ridiculous like we are being
sneered at for even taking part. We are unfulfilled and miserable, but we get out of bed every day and
soldier on because that's what we've signed up for. That's what we've told everyone we are doing so we have to keep doing it. But life isn't one long violin lesson that we started at 7 years old and our
parents are still paying for. We are adults now, we control what we pay for, financially and emotionally!
So the immediate answer is simple.
If it doesn't make you happy, change it.
Find a new race to run.
Start a new relationship.
Take up a new hobby.
Create a new dream.
The problem is by doing this we have to admit defeat and consciously accept our failure. We have to announce to the world and ourselves that we are in fact, giving up.
We tried our hardest, but we were beaten.
We couldn't reach end.
We didn't make it.
We failed.
Then after all our blood, sweat and tears has gone into the one thing we always believed in that we still couldn't make work, we have to start
all
over
again.
Creating the new dream isn't even the hardest part.
The biggest challenge is having the strength to give up and admit defeat without blame or judgement.
We have to forgive ourselves for failing.
We have to let ourselves off the hook.
Then we can look back and say we achieved something.
