Smiling Strangers

Spurred on by the recent 'Underground challenge' of a friend and fellow blogger; asking people to start a conversation with a random person on the tube, I became more aware of our interaction with strangers.

We see different people each day of our lives but do not actually meet them. I think this is because many people put up a subconscious wall, which only falls when they are surrounded by people they already know. This is by no means the case for all people, but I have noticed recently that some really struggle to show their emotions with strangers and seem cold, rude and oblivious to much of what happens around them. This may be clever, as we are all taught at school 'to never talk to strangers'. Yet, a wise man once said that strangers are simply friends we have not yet met.

Obviously personalities will differ from person to person. Some of us are personable creatures, loud, friendly, confident and willing to chat to anyone who will chat back. Others are introverted, quiet, and prefer to sit back, watch and listen rather than join in. Neither is right or wrong, however the latter can sometimes give the wrong impression to a stranger. A shy person can often come across as cold, apathetic or sometimes moody. This person could be all these things and that is their prerogative but what if they are simply scared? I am not asking the entire world to be happy 24/7 and obviously we all have good and bad days, however a smile can often make someones day.

Our society shows life to be fast-paced, everyone is always busy, in a hurry or in the middle of something extremely important, maybe they do not have the time to stop or start anything new. Again a smile can be exchanged in a mere second, a few words in a minute. I often see that people avoid conversations and situations with new people. In improvisation we call this 'blocking'; when an actor offers an idea, a theme, an olive branch, if the other actor responds in the opposite direction they are blocking the action and preventing the scene from unraveling. In life many of us are scared of what may be unravelled, scared of what we do not know. Our observation for manners and politeness can often get in the way of our need to branch out. Most of the time When i wish to talk to a stranger, it is usually because I have eavesdropped on their conversation and have something to add! In most cases I do not offer my opinion as it would of course seem rude to a stranger. However, on one occasion they may be interested and find my nosey nature amusing...who can know?

I can explicitly remember the few times I have interacted with a stranger; shared a conversation, laughed with them about the surroundings or helped them out with a problem. Not all were good encounters and I did not necessarily make life-long friends in these situations, but I have extra memories to keep for life. Each one showing a smiling stranger :)

Take a look at SupePennie and the 'Underground Challenge'
http://superpennie.blogspot.com/2010/04/underground-challenge.html

Voulez-vous coucher avec mois, ce soir?

Don't worry the above question is only proposed in order to make a point!

Whatever your immediate thoughts, remember them but now take the sentence and translate it into English. It turns from slightly sexy and alluring to provocatively immoral and shockingly forward. Why does this simple change of language incur such a different emotional response? Is it because we pretend we do not understand it? Or maybe just because we associate a french accent with impeccable style and effortless charm we just like to enjoy the way it sounds. I am trying to highlight the notion that certain attributes and ideas are perceived by humans as 'sexy'. Therefore sometimes the direct meaning is taken over by our subsconscious emotional understanding of it.

Take for example music, certain melodies and rhythms can be sexy themselves. Those with musical ability are often thought of as sexy. Whether it is a lead guitarist of a rock band a pop singer or the leading soprano in an opera. There is something about musical talent that is desired, appreciated, admired and therefore craved. This is all also echoed in the idea of power. This invisible force a human can take hold of is quite mesmerising when used correctly. Both mentally and physically, power can be very sexy. Angie Dickinson believes in this theory, 'No question - the more powerful men are, the more sexy they are.'

Intellectual expertise is another of these aspects, those who have a way with words and can articulate a perfect sentence as if it were poetry. People that can caress you with charm, whisper wit into your ear and cover your body in kisses of charisma. Many physical elements aside from the obvious biological ones have also become sexy by definition. Women with red lips, men wearing sunglasses, the smell of the pheromones in aftershave or perfume, a raised eyebrow followed by that indescribable glint in the eye that sends tingles down your spine. Some people manage to tick all these boxes, and I think there is a Greek proverb somewhere that says that these people were blessed twice!

The main qualities we find sexy are the those that are forbidden, secret, dangerous or controversial. We all know that smoking is insanely bad for our health and in the main, unattractive. However, many films show smoking in an sultry snapshot that captivates us beyond belief. Even the most simple idea of darkness. The way a full moon glows on a clear night, or how candlelight flickers in the wind creates a magical feeling of the mystical or the unknown and that is also sexy.

It is all once again subjective and completely down to the individual. What one person find sexy another may not. However, we do all enjoy discovering the certain universal traits that set off the sexy signal in our brains. The connection between most attributes that ooze sex appeal is confidence. This confidence is not necessarily known or created it's an innate, individual self-assurance that is transported through various means, and offers an glimpse of what our soul may look like at it's most attractive, with a bit of glamour thrown in. This can usually simply be achieved with a smile.

Many people including myself, claim that they find it very hard to be sexy. That is probably because they are trying! There are many people in the world who can effortlessly be sexy and get paid thousands of pounds to do so, but it is definitely considered an art form. Christian Bale observes that, 'trying too hard to be sexy is the worst thing in the world a woman can do' Well, looks like it will always be a tough act to perform correctly.

If in doubt, get some red lipstick or a leather jacket, add a cigarette and practice swishing your hair around a bit and you may just about pass the test!