I quit.

I'm done.
That's it.
It's over.
The end.
I quit.

How many times in our lives do we say these phrases?

We can attribute the above words to the really small mundane things in life, but also to the bigger picture.

After a hearty meal we announce we are finished, we cannot possibly cram in another bite. At the end of a workout when we are literally dripping with sweat and we can't put our bodies through any more pain so we yearn for the end to rest our aching muscles. When we call time on that relationship, because we can't have the same argument again. When finally we make the decision to give up on our dreams, because we can't bear the agony of reaching for them anymore.

Depending on the context, these phrases can mean different things. Therefore why does quitting always have a negative connotation?

We assume that when we have given up on something it means that we haven't had the strength to see it through to completion. We are only human and we can only endure so much. Of course our stamina is relative and dependant upon the lives we lead. Each one of us has our own set of goals and ideals we hope to achieve and live by. I just wonder, when is not reaching these goals ever universally acceptable?

We are taught from a young age to be competitive and to strive for our best; in education during our school years through academic achievement. In person through loving our neighbour and promoting the best in each other, and in life through reaching our own personal ambitions that we set for ourselves.

When we achieve something, we expect to endure hardship or difficulty on the road to that achievement. Otherwise the prize isn't worth having. We are led to believe we must always challenge ourselves to reach our full potential. But what if the challenge ultimately breaks us instead of making us? What if the race to the finish line kills our team spirit and makes us forget why we even started running? We watch others with their medals and our own glory is so far from grasp that just the thought of warming up for practice every day is exhausting. We feel ridiculous like we are being
sneered at for even taking part. We are unfulfilled and miserable, but we get out of bed every day and
soldier on because that's what we've signed up for. That's what we've told everyone we are doing so we have to keep doing it. But life isn't one long violin lesson that we started at 7 years old and our
parents are still paying for. We are adults now, we control what we pay for, financially and emotionally!

So the immediate answer is simple.
If it doesn't make you happy, change it.
Find a new race to run.
Start a new relationship.
Take up a new hobby.
Create a new dream.

The problem is by doing this we have to admit defeat and consciously accept our failure. We have to announce to the world and ourselves that we are in fact, giving up.

We tried our hardest, but we were beaten.

We couldn't reach end.
We didn't make it.
We failed.

Then after all our blood, sweat and tears has gone into the one thing we always believed in that we still couldn't make work, we have to start
 all
over
again.

Creating the new dream isn't even the hardest part.
The biggest challenge is having the strength to give up and admit defeat without blame or judgement.

We have to forgive ourselves for failing.
We have to let ourselves off the hook.
Then we can look back and say we achieved something.

Is cynical thinking just self-preservation?

Recently I have noticed that in life we can be extremely cynical of certain situations and the people that surround us. Cynicism is defined as 'contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives'. Sometimes previous experience teaches us that things aren't always what they seem, so we act with caution to avoid disappointment. This means we subconsciously feel negative towards an idea or situation and then feel guilty for immediately predicting the worst outcome. Should we torture ourselves for protecting our feelings?

George Carlin believes that 'Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.' This change occurs with age. As children we are gullible and naive, we dream and idealise about what may, might or could happen with no thought of how we might feel if it doesn't. However, as we get older we start to lose faith in the improbable and become more self-aware. Cynicism can be linked to realism, in that we blame our negative thinking on a need to be realistic. We are aware of the tough world we live in and expect little so we can be pleasantly surprised when we recieve a lot. Daniel Waters expands on this, 'In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some entertainment out of it.' He shows how we often feel better with our cynical viewpoint, as it saves us from the shame and embarrassment of believing everything and then looking like a fool.

Unfortunately some people become cynical about everything in the world, which leads to bitterness and resentment. 'A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.' (Henry Louis Mencken) These people become blind to any form of positivity and put a negative spin on everything in an attempt to safeguard their emotions. Our bitterness towards certain situations can stem from other's views, previous experiences or what society tells us to believe. The biblical story of the 'Good Samaritan' is a case example. It shows of how we do not expect kindness from a stranger, because we are led to believe that humans are all self-centered and out for their own gain. However, sometimes there is one person who is an exception to the rule and thinks of others.

A couple of weeks ago I had my belongings stolen on a night bus in London. I remember reacting with surprising apathy, just accepting my fate and casually criticising mankind. A few days later I received a letter with my cards and I.D enclosed. A stranger had found my items in their back garden and taken the time to return them to me. I was completely surprised that someone would go to that trouble. Why do I expect to be robbed but not to be compensated? Am I cynical or is the world cynical?

Questions also arise when a cynic requires proof in order to believe something to be true. With freedom of speech we can say within reason, what we like, however there is no proof to establish if what we say is true. We can meet people who relay fantastical stories and events which we want to believe are real, but something inside tells us they are not factual. We become guilty and feel bad for doubting a friend, but cannot disguise the glimmer of hope than exists within us, that wants to believe them. Oscar Wilde describes a cynic as 'A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.' To avoid this label we might be better off investing in the glimmer of hope we spend so much time trying to hide.

I hope that mankind does not wish to be cynical and look at the world negatively. Equally we do not want to wear rose coloured glasses, as life may disappoint us more than we expect it to. Henry Louis Mencken's view may be self-preserving, 'The cynics are right nine times out of ten' However, if one time out of ten we take a risk and give someone the benefit of the doubt, we might stop being cynical or even hopeful and start to be happy.