I am of course referring to the rather nice but rare feeling found after snuggling up with a mug of hot chocolate; sitting by a fire in the winter, receiving a piece of good news, or a nice gift, or returning from a successful first date. (Or anything that involves romance!)
The feeling is usually followed by an involuntary need to grin like a Cheshire cat from ear to ear. This grinning cannot be prevented and can last from 5 minutes to 3 days depending on how intense the warm and fuzzy feeling is. In fact the smiling is so much that it usually prevents the recipient from talking. It can also be accompanied by high pitched screams of excitement and the recipient may also find that they are glowing with happiness.
After informing everyone that will listen of their reasons for this feeling, and enduring their friends giggles, taunts and proud smiles, the recipient is left content and a little warm but not as fuzzy. The feeling is so intense at first that once gone it is mourned and becomes addictive and then craved by the recipient if they do not experience it at regular intervals. For example, like an addiction one might have to Starbucks frappuccinos :) (no idea who would have that by the way!)
While awaiting their next fix of warm and fuzziness, the recipient may worry what may happen if their new found positivity is suddenly taken away. They are filled with the fear that after experiencing something so intense and fulfilling that they may be left empty again and the blow may be too hard to bear. I mean, after tasting real chocolate who really wants anything chocolate flavoured? The recipient may also wonder if they have been deceived or tricked and what they experienced wasn't a warm and fuzzy feeling at all. (You know Ashton Kutcher can pop out from behind a bush at anytime people!)
All these worries of course are controlled and produced by our need to be realistic and often controlled by a subconscious tendency to be cynical and expect the worst. This does not remedy well with the Warm and Fuzzy feeling, that exists to shine an element of the fantastical on everyday life. We all try not to dwell on fantasies nowadays as it often leads to disappointment. Therefore it is hard to believe that the Warm and Fuzzy feeling is A) happening at all and B) if we really deserve it.
I guess the greeting on the Warm and Fuzzy gift card should read:
"The Recipient must enjoy this comfortably and openly in every way possible. They must not disguise it any way, but embrace it and avoid any negative or cynical thoughts. If these rules are breached the Warm and Fuzzy fairy might revoke their card - Feelings may vary, Terms & Conditions apply"
Well, if we are going to live in fantasy world, we might as well make it legal!
Saturday 29 May 2010
Friday 21 May 2010
I'm not crying, that's just rain on my face!
While ironically funny, the above expression shows how some people deal with the body's biological reflex to an intense emotion. By definition, 'cry is from the Latin quiritare, to make a public outcry', which could relate to many different emotions, eg. sadness, frustration, anger. We often cry because we are trying to deal with a complex emotion and our brains react to this by releasing moisture from the eyes. It is a completely natural and biological action, therefore why are so many of us afraid of it?
Of course there is the stereotypical view that crying is a woman's game, as they are the most emotional sex and therefore men do not cry. Ever. However, some people consider the act of crying to be a weakness or an embarrassment. Granted not all tears are the same, sometimes uncontrollable sobbing can be quite dramatic and and so we may wish to cry in private, however the act can also be therapeutic. Directly linked to the grieving process, crying can help us to deal with our feelings of loss or bitterness as bottling up our tears can often lead to more sorrow and confusion.
Often tears can be created from the emotions and experience of others. For example, when we watch a sad film, or listen to a moving piece of music. This is of course different for each person and is subjective. While one might find a film heartbreaking another might not. In a debate with friends, some said that they can only follow a story emotionally if they can personally connect with the events that unfold. Only then may they feel emotional enough to cry. As a person who has no reservations about crying and often feels better after a small sob, during sad films my tears flow freely. Therefore a decent acting performance and a compelling storyline can send me sobbing, whether I can directly relate to the characters or not. Sometimes however if we expect a film to be really sad, it often doesn't live up to our expectations and we are left wondering why. Again it's just subjective!
I think it all comes down to control. Are we in control of our emotions? Even though crying is a biological reaction, some would say that we are in control of cour minds and bodies so we can control how we feel. I think some people are obviously better at this than others. I believe that if something is trying to escape than why fight it? Why be afraid or ashamed of it? Why justify it? Finally, do not be afraid of your tears. As Ryan Seacrest says, 'It's okay to cry, It's because you care.'
Of course there is the stereotypical view that crying is a woman's game, as they are the most emotional sex and therefore men do not cry. Ever. However, some people consider the act of crying to be a weakness or an embarrassment. Granted not all tears are the same, sometimes uncontrollable sobbing can be quite dramatic and and so we may wish to cry in private, however the act can also be therapeutic. Directly linked to the grieving process, crying can help us to deal with our feelings of loss or bitterness as bottling up our tears can often lead to more sorrow and confusion.
Often tears can be created from the emotions and experience of others. For example, when we watch a sad film, or listen to a moving piece of music. This is of course different for each person and is subjective. While one might find a film heartbreaking another might not. In a debate with friends, some said that they can only follow a story emotionally if they can personally connect with the events that unfold. Only then may they feel emotional enough to cry. As a person who has no reservations about crying and often feels better after a small sob, during sad films my tears flow freely. Therefore a decent acting performance and a compelling storyline can send me sobbing, whether I can directly relate to the characters or not. Sometimes however if we expect a film to be really sad, it often doesn't live up to our expectations and we are left wondering why. Again it's just subjective!
I think it all comes down to control. Are we in control of our emotions? Even though crying is a biological reaction, some would say that we are in control of cour minds and bodies so we can control how we feel. I think some people are obviously better at this than others. I believe that if something is trying to escape than why fight it? Why be afraid or ashamed of it? Why justify it? Finally, do not be afraid of your tears. As Ryan Seacrest says, 'It's okay to cry, It's because you care.'
Monday 17 May 2010
Smiling Strangers
Spurred on by the recent 'Underground challenge' of a friend and fellow blogger; asking people to start a conversation with a random person on the tube, I became more aware of our interaction with strangers.
We see different people each day of our lives but do not actually meet them. I think this is because many people put up a subconscious wall, which only falls when they are surrounded by people they already know. This is by no means the case for all people, but I have noticed recently that some really struggle to show their emotions with strangers and seem cold, rude and oblivious to much of what happens around them. This may be clever, as we are all taught at school 'to never talk to strangers'. Yet, a wise man once said that strangers are simply friends we have not yet met.
Obviously personalities will differ from person to person. Some of us are personable creatures, loud, friendly, confident and willing to chat to anyone who will chat back. Others are introverted, quiet, and prefer to sit back, watch and listen rather than join in. Neither is right or wrong, however the latter can sometimes give the wrong impression to a stranger. A shy person can often come across as cold, apathetic or sometimes moody. This person could be all these things and that is their prerogative but what if they are simply scared? I am not asking the entire world to be happy 24/7 and obviously we all have good and bad days, however a smile can often make someones day.
Our society shows life to be fast-paced, everyone is always busy, in a hurry or in the middle of something extremely important, maybe they do not have the time to stop or start anything new. Again a smile can be exchanged in a mere second, a few words in a minute. I often see that people avoid conversations and situations with new people. In improvisation we call this 'blocking'; when an actor offers an idea, a theme, an olive branch, if the other actor responds in the opposite direction they are blocking the action and preventing the scene from unraveling. In life many of us are scared of what may be unravelled, scared of what we do not know. Our observation for manners and politeness can often get in the way of our need to branch out. Most of the time When i wish to talk to a stranger, it is usually because I have eavesdropped on their conversation and have something to add! In most cases I do not offer my opinion as it would of course seem rude to a stranger. However, on one occasion they may be interested and find my nosey nature amusing...who can know?
I can explicitly remember the few times I have interacted with a stranger; shared a conversation, laughed with them about the surroundings or helped them out with a problem. Not all were good encounters and I did not necessarily make life-long friends in these situations, but I have extra memories to keep for life. Each one showing a smiling stranger :)
Take a look at SupePennie and the 'Underground Challenge'
http://superpennie.blogspot.com/2010/04/underground-challenge.html
We see different people each day of our lives but do not actually meet them. I think this is because many people put up a subconscious wall, which only falls when they are surrounded by people they already know. This is by no means the case for all people, but I have noticed recently that some really struggle to show their emotions with strangers and seem cold, rude and oblivious to much of what happens around them. This may be clever, as we are all taught at school 'to never talk to strangers'. Yet, a wise man once said that strangers are simply friends we have not yet met.
Obviously personalities will differ from person to person. Some of us are personable creatures, loud, friendly, confident and willing to chat to anyone who will chat back. Others are introverted, quiet, and prefer to sit back, watch and listen rather than join in. Neither is right or wrong, however the latter can sometimes give the wrong impression to a stranger. A shy person can often come across as cold, apathetic or sometimes moody. This person could be all these things and that is their prerogative but what if they are simply scared? I am not asking the entire world to be happy 24/7 and obviously we all have good and bad days, however a smile can often make someones day.
Our society shows life to be fast-paced, everyone is always busy, in a hurry or in the middle of something extremely important, maybe they do not have the time to stop or start anything new. Again a smile can be exchanged in a mere second, a few words in a minute. I often see that people avoid conversations and situations with new people. In improvisation we call this 'blocking'; when an actor offers an idea, a theme, an olive branch, if the other actor responds in the opposite direction they are blocking the action and preventing the scene from unraveling. In life many of us are scared of what may be unravelled, scared of what we do not know. Our observation for manners and politeness can often get in the way of our need to branch out. Most of the time When i wish to talk to a stranger, it is usually because I have eavesdropped on their conversation and have something to add! In most cases I do not offer my opinion as it would of course seem rude to a stranger. However, on one occasion they may be interested and find my nosey nature amusing...who can know?
I can explicitly remember the few times I have interacted with a stranger; shared a conversation, laughed with them about the surroundings or helped them out with a problem. Not all were good encounters and I did not necessarily make life-long friends in these situations, but I have extra memories to keep for life. Each one showing a smiling stranger :)
Take a look at SupePennie and the 'Underground Challenge'
http://superpennie.blogspot.com/2010/04/underground-challenge.html
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