While ironically funny, the above expression shows how some people deal with the body's biological reflex to an intense emotion. By definition, 'cry is from the Latin quiritare, to make a public outcry', which could relate to many different emotions, eg. sadness, frustration, anger. We often cry because we are trying to deal with a complex emotion and our brains react to this by releasing moisture from the eyes. It is a completely natural and biological action, therefore why are so many of us afraid of it?
Of course there is the stereotypical view that crying is a woman's game, as they are the most emotional sex and therefore men do not cry. Ever. However, some people consider the act of crying to be a weakness or an embarrassment. Granted not all tears are the same, sometimes uncontrollable sobbing can be quite dramatic and and so we may wish to cry in private, however the act can also be therapeutic. Directly linked to the grieving process, crying can help us to deal with our feelings of loss or bitterness as bottling up our tears can often lead to more sorrow and confusion.
Often tears can be created from the emotions and experience of others. For example, when we watch a sad film, or listen to a moving piece of music. This is of course different for each person and is subjective. While one might find a film heartbreaking another might not. In a debate with friends, some said that they can only follow a story emotionally if they can personally connect with the events that unfold. Only then may they feel emotional enough to cry. As a person who has no reservations about crying and often feels better after a small sob, during sad films my tears flow freely. Therefore a decent acting performance and a compelling storyline can send me sobbing, whether I can directly relate to the characters or not. Sometimes however if we expect a film to be really sad, it often doesn't live up to our expectations and we are left wondering why. Again it's just subjective!
I think it all comes down to control. Are we in control of our emotions? Even though crying is a biological reaction, some would say that we are in control of cour minds and bodies so we can control how we feel. I think some people are obviously better at this than others. I believe that if something is trying to escape than why fight it? Why be afraid or ashamed of it? Why justify it? Finally, do not be afraid of your tears. As Ryan Seacrest says, 'It's okay to cry, It's because you care.'
Showing posts with label subjective. Show all posts
Showing posts with label subjective. Show all posts
Friday, 21 May 2010
Sunday, 14 March 2010
'The grass is always greener...
on the other side of the fence.' I have heard this phrase many times in the last few days and it seems to be a universally understood concept. The term describes a situation where, 'Other people’s circumstances seem more desirable than one’s own but in reality are often not.'
Humans constantly judge their own lives by measuring what they have against what everyone else has. We are conditioned to strive to be the best, do the right thing, make the correct choice, however our views of other people sometimes taint our better judgement. We can be morally sound and fully aware of right and wrong, however when we deeply desire something and discover that someone else has what we wish for, we can become incredibly dissatisfied with our lives. We then obsess about what we are lacking and totally ignore what we already have.
Often we are totally aware of these obsessions, knowing what we are feeling and aware that it is wrong, but this self-knowledge cannot always provoke us to stop feeling this way. For example, if we are jealous of an other's romantic relationship, it is usually if we happen to be single or going through a rough patch in our love life. Until the latter is over we cannot help but be jealous of those in love. We can become jealous of material objects, such as a car, holiday or simply the good wealth that others have. We often become resentful of others personalities, relationships, experiences and memories. We tend to believe that if we cannot have something, then no-one else should be able to, as this would be unfair. Slightly hypocritical perhaps?
Ideas about human jealousy and resentment have been explored and described over time in a variety of ways. One of The Ten Commandments in The Bible,Exodus 20:2-17, 'You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.' It seems that even God was aware that humans always want what they do not have. Those that believe in him, might ask why he provided us with this dilemma. Perhaps he believes it to be character building as it provides a lesson to be learnt, once recognised. Who knows?
As the definition states, we may think others have more than we do, but the irony is that the people we are jealous of, are probably jealous of us for a different reason. We often suspect others lives are perfect and 'normal', however underneath there are unsolved problems and buried resentments. We need to realise that we cannot have everything or there would be no reason for us to live. Or perhaps we do have everything and that is why we live, to learn this and be grateful for it. Who knows? (ooh Deja-vu)
Whichever way you look at it, yes the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but in the grand subjective scheme of things, that is only our opinion. There are various shades of green, however only one shade is possessed by all of us at some point in our lives. The grass is always green... with ENVY!
Humans constantly judge their own lives by measuring what they have against what everyone else has. We are conditioned to strive to be the best, do the right thing, make the correct choice, however our views of other people sometimes taint our better judgement. We can be morally sound and fully aware of right and wrong, however when we deeply desire something and discover that someone else has what we wish for, we can become incredibly dissatisfied with our lives. We then obsess about what we are lacking and totally ignore what we already have.
Often we are totally aware of these obsessions, knowing what we are feeling and aware that it is wrong, but this self-knowledge cannot always provoke us to stop feeling this way. For example, if we are jealous of an other's romantic relationship, it is usually if we happen to be single or going through a rough patch in our love life. Until the latter is over we cannot help but be jealous of those in love. We can become jealous of material objects, such as a car, holiday or simply the good wealth that others have. We often become resentful of others personalities, relationships, experiences and memories. We tend to believe that if we cannot have something, then no-one else should be able to, as this would be unfair. Slightly hypocritical perhaps?
Ideas about human jealousy and resentment have been explored and described over time in a variety of ways. One of The Ten Commandments in The Bible,Exodus 20:2-17, 'You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.' It seems that even God was aware that humans always want what they do not have. Those that believe in him, might ask why he provided us with this dilemma. Perhaps he believes it to be character building as it provides a lesson to be learnt, once recognised. Who knows?
As the definition states, we may think others have more than we do, but the irony is that the people we are jealous of, are probably jealous of us for a different reason. We often suspect others lives are perfect and 'normal', however underneath there are unsolved problems and buried resentments. We need to realise that we cannot have everything or there would be no reason for us to live. Or perhaps we do have everything and that is why we live, to learn this and be grateful for it. Who knows? (ooh Deja-vu)
Whichever way you look at it, yes the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but in the grand subjective scheme of things, that is only our opinion. There are various shades of green, however only one shade is possessed by all of us at some point in our lives. The grass is always green... with ENVY!
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
So much stress, so little time!
I was thinking about stress today, it's an ironic procrastination, but one we all indulge in when we feel our lives have taken over who we are. There are just times, when we cannot possibly think about all the little things we need to, so we spend each minute worrying about the method of how to solve these problems, instead of actually solving them!
We are all different, and deal with stress in different ways of course. Some of us can sense the stress signals seeping into our brains and taking over all our control. We know of our own, personal rituals we use to combat the immediate problem, whether it's a little time out with mates, a quick chocolate fix, or a bike ride. However, these do not always work and we often become a spectator, watching out lives play out, powerless to take a hold of what we are experiencing and stop the action. Others more prone to stress, fall at the first hurdle and can find no way of getting up again. There are a select few however, that are brilliant time managers, problem solvers and positive pearls of perfection. If you know anyone of this description they are usually the one person who will take you to one side, during a time where you can barely breathe and give you a completely obvious and simple solution that will kill all the birds with one stone. At this point you then become annoyed and stressed at yourself for being so ignorant that you couldn't see the solution for yourself!
I have found that our tear-ducts are directly linked to our stress levels. It's like they can sense when we are about to lose it, and signal the need to release moisture. This can be in the form of complete sobbing or hysterical laughter. It's our body's way of saying it needs a rest, a break. Maybe that is why Kitkat asks us to take a break. Good old Nestle knew that the endorphins in their chocolate would help eliminate our stress levels!
By definition stress is 'a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension' I think this tension is of course subjective but can also be completely invisible. Most stress we create ourselves. A friend pointed out to me today that we felt very busy during the first two years of our degree and now in the third year we are squeezing in so much more. No matter how impossible it seems there is always room for more. We feel completely consumed by our timetables that we are even contemplating scheduling in time to relax! We seem to be managing everything so far.(She says confidently)
Natalie Goldberg notices how the idea of stress is quite melodramatic, 'Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency'. As humans we are conditioned to create, hypothesize, analyze and this often means we imagine what is not really there. This doesn't mean that the stress is a figment of our imagination but the volume of it and our way of dealing with it is sometimes counter-productive. Catherine Puliser sums up the idea of stress in one sweeping, humbling statement, 'When you find yourself stressed, ask yourself one question: Will this matter in 5 years from now? If yes, then do something about the situation. If no, then let it go.
Have a go and see how much time you will save. Now where's that Kitkat?....
We are all different, and deal with stress in different ways of course. Some of us can sense the stress signals seeping into our brains and taking over all our control. We know of our own, personal rituals we use to combat the immediate problem, whether it's a little time out with mates, a quick chocolate fix, or a bike ride. However, these do not always work and we often become a spectator, watching out lives play out, powerless to take a hold of what we are experiencing and stop the action. Others more prone to stress, fall at the first hurdle and can find no way of getting up again. There are a select few however, that are brilliant time managers, problem solvers and positive pearls of perfection. If you know anyone of this description they are usually the one person who will take you to one side, during a time where you can barely breathe and give you a completely obvious and simple solution that will kill all the birds with one stone. At this point you then become annoyed and stressed at yourself for being so ignorant that you couldn't see the solution for yourself!
I have found that our tear-ducts are directly linked to our stress levels. It's like they can sense when we are about to lose it, and signal the need to release moisture. This can be in the form of complete sobbing or hysterical laughter. It's our body's way of saying it needs a rest, a break. Maybe that is why Kitkat asks us to take a break. Good old Nestle knew that the endorphins in their chocolate would help eliminate our stress levels!
By definition stress is 'a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension' I think this tension is of course subjective but can also be completely invisible. Most stress we create ourselves. A friend pointed out to me today that we felt very busy during the first two years of our degree and now in the third year we are squeezing in so much more. No matter how impossible it seems there is always room for more. We feel completely consumed by our timetables that we are even contemplating scheduling in time to relax! We seem to be managing everything so far.(She says confidently)
Natalie Goldberg notices how the idea of stress is quite melodramatic, 'Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency'. As humans we are conditioned to create, hypothesize, analyze and this often means we imagine what is not really there. This doesn't mean that the stress is a figment of our imagination but the volume of it and our way of dealing with it is sometimes counter-productive. Catherine Puliser sums up the idea of stress in one sweeping, humbling statement, 'When you find yourself stressed, ask yourself one question: Will this matter in 5 years from now? If yes, then do something about the situation. If no, then let it go.
Have a go and see how much time you will save. Now where's that Kitkat?....
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
Luck, a man-made idea?
Do you ever take time out of your day to wonder how luck has played a part in it?
The idea of luck centers around chance, fate and faith, all things we ultimately have no control over. We normally become aware of luck when we notice it's absence. We believe a pre-determined force is out to get us, after experiencing a sudden negative turn of events or upon hearing some bad news. If this negative pattern continues we then label ourselves as unlucky. However, what does luck actually signify and how can we be sure it exists and it is not just a coincidence disguised in a man made ideology created to increase hope? By definition luck is 'a force that brings good fortune or adversity' or 'a favoring chance.' Therefore it's existence is an added bonus, but it's absence just joins the end of a long list of attributes, qualities and objects we don't have, but nevertheless depress us further because we don't understand why we don't have them.
Luck can be measured on a variety of levels, depending on how you view it. There are universal symbols of luck such as the four-leaf clover and Irish leprechaun. We also collect personal items throughout over lives that prove lucky for us. This could be a favourite pair of underwear, piece of jewelery, photo or general keepsake. Whether these items are lucky we will never know. It is questionable whether our belief in them, tips the scales to creating a positive outcome when they are near, or if the luck surrounding them is merely a random turn of events.
Symbols of bad luck usually center around superstitions, involving breaking mirrors, black cats crossing paths and the number thirteen. Do we believe in these myths to provide a reason for our fear of making a mistake or choosing the wrong path? Certain acts are often created to promote fairness and assure the outcome is left to chance, for example when names are picked out of a hat. Sometimes our faith is tested when our prior expectations are proved correct and so cynical thinking comes into play. This can therefore remind us of how unlucky we are or suggest the idea that luck cannot exist as humans will always intervene and upset the natural and supposed random order of things.
We can also ask how much is luck dependant on free will? We live our day to day lives and make choices, some big and some small. Along the way luck intervenes and either helps or hinders us. It's presence can sometimes belittle achievement, as we believe our constant efforts are often wasted as an unknown element is in complete control waiting to shine it's light on us and seal our fate. Luck is also an idea used as an excuse for uncertainty. If we cannot be completely sure of something we say it is all down to luck. Therefore humans are absolved of error and blame, as whatever they do they cannot be sue of anything, because luck does not knock before it enters. The element of surprise then becomes our safe house. How does that make any sense?
We come back again to the idea of subjectivity. One person might consider constantly tripping up and walking into things a sign of bad luck, whereas another might look upon this as a clumsy behavioral habit that could be passed down genetically. Similar to irony, good luck normally pays a visit to someone else when you are feeling particularly in need of it. This is described in the great words of Alanis Morissette in her song Ironic, 'it's meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife'. Now the reaction to this differs from person to person. Some, like myself, read into situations of irony, fate and luck and believe that there is a reason why each of them have occurred at that precise moment. Others refuse to believe that such a power can exist without human interference. Unfortunately neither can be assumed as right or wrong.
Most unknown, invisible, ideas, notions and beliefs are linked together magically in a web of intangible mystery. Some believe that a man makes his own luck, others believe it is bestowed at random selection. The idea of luck simplistically is hope. Hope that on your birthday the sun will shine. Hope that you will excel at that job interview. Hope that you will one day fall in love with someone who loves you back. Hope that something good can happen to you and it not be in the form of payment, guilt or necessity. Hope that something good can happen to you for no other reason than at that particular moment of that particular day you just happened to deserve it.
The idea of luck centers around chance, fate and faith, all things we ultimately have no control over. We normally become aware of luck when we notice it's absence. We believe a pre-determined force is out to get us, after experiencing a sudden negative turn of events or upon hearing some bad news. If this negative pattern continues we then label ourselves as unlucky. However, what does luck actually signify and how can we be sure it exists and it is not just a coincidence disguised in a man made ideology created to increase hope? By definition luck is 'a force that brings good fortune or adversity' or 'a favoring chance.' Therefore it's existence is an added bonus, but it's absence just joins the end of a long list of attributes, qualities and objects we don't have, but nevertheless depress us further because we don't understand why we don't have them.
Luck can be measured on a variety of levels, depending on how you view it. There are universal symbols of luck such as the four-leaf clover and Irish leprechaun. We also collect personal items throughout over lives that prove lucky for us. This could be a favourite pair of underwear, piece of jewelery, photo or general keepsake. Whether these items are lucky we will never know. It is questionable whether our belief in them, tips the scales to creating a positive outcome when they are near, or if the luck surrounding them is merely a random turn of events.
Symbols of bad luck usually center around superstitions, involving breaking mirrors, black cats crossing paths and the number thirteen. Do we believe in these myths to provide a reason for our fear of making a mistake or choosing the wrong path? Certain acts are often created to promote fairness and assure the outcome is left to chance, for example when names are picked out of a hat. Sometimes our faith is tested when our prior expectations are proved correct and so cynical thinking comes into play. This can therefore remind us of how unlucky we are or suggest the idea that luck cannot exist as humans will always intervene and upset the natural and supposed random order of things.
We can also ask how much is luck dependant on free will? We live our day to day lives and make choices, some big and some small. Along the way luck intervenes and either helps or hinders us. It's presence can sometimes belittle achievement, as we believe our constant efforts are often wasted as an unknown element is in complete control waiting to shine it's light on us and seal our fate. Luck is also an idea used as an excuse for uncertainty. If we cannot be completely sure of something we say it is all down to luck. Therefore humans are absolved of error and blame, as whatever they do they cannot be sue of anything, because luck does not knock before it enters. The element of surprise then becomes our safe house. How does that make any sense?
We come back again to the idea of subjectivity. One person might consider constantly tripping up and walking into things a sign of bad luck, whereas another might look upon this as a clumsy behavioral habit that could be passed down genetically. Similar to irony, good luck normally pays a visit to someone else when you are feeling particularly in need of it. This is described in the great words of Alanis Morissette in her song Ironic, 'it's meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife'. Now the reaction to this differs from person to person. Some, like myself, read into situations of irony, fate and luck and believe that there is a reason why each of them have occurred at that precise moment. Others refuse to believe that such a power can exist without human interference. Unfortunately neither can be assumed as right or wrong.
Most unknown, invisible, ideas, notions and beliefs are linked together magically in a web of intangible mystery. Some believe that a man makes his own luck, others believe it is bestowed at random selection. The idea of luck simplistically is hope. Hope that on your birthday the sun will shine. Hope that you will excel at that job interview. Hope that you will one day fall in love with someone who loves you back. Hope that something good can happen to you and it not be in the form of payment, guilt or necessity. Hope that something good can happen to you for no other reason than at that particular moment of that particular day you just happened to deserve it.
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
Guess who?
Thought as the time was drawing near, I should share my feelings on the public holiday of 14th February. Yes that's right, Valentines Day.
St Valentine, was actually the name of many Saints who were killed in Ancient Rome. We do not know if this day celebrates all or just one of them. According to Jack Oruch, the tradition of Valentines Day did not exist until Geoffrey Chaucer created it in his fictional stories. Which brings me nicely onto the fact that we as a modern society have created our own version of a tradition that has become mainly a shopkeepers delight and a customers despair.
As soon as February begins, all the shops decorate their windows in red with lots of cupids and hearts, all fit for a Tin Man's convention. In particular, florists, chocolate shops and perfumeries expect a vast amount of business at this time, as they sell the normal gifts associated with this time of year at extortionate prices. In America alone, Valentines Day generates about £9 million - Is that the price of love? I guess no girl can ever refuse a bouquets of perfect red roses. (Well unless she is allergic of course) Chocolate is the way to anyone's heart these days and cute cards never fail to be romantic. Card websites such as moonpig.com sell personalised cards which are a sure success. However one read ' Andrew you and I are pretty usual. I am pretty and you are usual'. Anyone who sends that card is surely missing the point, maybe they think Valentines Day means 'dumping day!'
Now there are many opinions about the necessity of Valentines Day. Some believe it is just a product of consumerism designed to exploit the public and tarnish one of the true and honest things we have left in life; love. Others however enjoy the date, as they see it as an excuse to devote time and attention to their partner, that they wouldn't normally be able to. The argument to this however is, that couples should say 'I love you' everyday and so should not need to feel united by a date in order to show their love. Some however would say that an overuse of the phrase destroys its honesty and so they save it for personal special occasions only and not ones universally accepted.
I find that the importance of Valentines Day to a couple usually depends on the length of their relationship. Those in the honeymoon period might use the day as an excuse to be romantic, on the other hand a married couple might use it to re-capture their romance. I guess the whole premise is very subjective (There goes that word again!)
The single most infuriating aspect of the holiday has to be that its existence ensures that anyone who is single on that faithful date feels more alone and undesirable than any other day. I would guess that the most affected are single women who often feel like they need a man in order to function, or those recently dumped by a partner or even widowers. It is funny to think that a man-made tradition has become so widely observed and considered over the years that we allow it to take over our lives and our emotions. There are even Anti-Valentines Day bashes in some parts of America for those that want to openly show their distaste for the commercialised day!
Valentines day at my Secondary school was always fun, there would be a red post box at the front, where people could post their valentines. This was of course great for those that received multiples and humiliating for those that sat with none come February 14th (that was me...) Some parents acknowledged the difficulties of this and often wrote and sent mystery valentines to their children, so they would invest in the excitement of guessing who might have written to them, rather than commiserating their absent card. (I got one a few years running and knew it was my Mum!...if it wasn't please come forward now!)
Seems it all comes back again to this need for a happy ending...or maybe just a need to feel happy, a need for something out of the ordinary, something to look forward to, a need to be spoilt, to feel special, to feel important, to feel loved. I guess we all get used to our everyday lives and if that life includes a partner we get used to them being there and forget sometimes how much they mean to us or how empty we would feel if they were not there anymore.
One of the nice things this day achieves is the belief that it is okay to be demonstrative with love. We can openly and loudly tell someone we love them and not feel embarrassed or exposed but just content and happy that they want to hear it. Shakespeare sums this up beautifully in Macbeth, 'A heart to love, and in that heart, courage, to make love know.'
St Valentine, was actually the name of many Saints who were killed in Ancient Rome. We do not know if this day celebrates all or just one of them. According to Jack Oruch, the tradition of Valentines Day did not exist until Geoffrey Chaucer created it in his fictional stories. Which brings me nicely onto the fact that we as a modern society have created our own version of a tradition that has become mainly a shopkeepers delight and a customers despair.
As soon as February begins, all the shops decorate their windows in red with lots of cupids and hearts, all fit for a Tin Man's convention. In particular, florists, chocolate shops and perfumeries expect a vast amount of business at this time, as they sell the normal gifts associated with this time of year at extortionate prices. In America alone, Valentines Day generates about £9 million - Is that the price of love? I guess no girl can ever refuse a bouquets of perfect red roses. (Well unless she is allergic of course) Chocolate is the way to anyone's heart these days and cute cards never fail to be romantic. Card websites such as moonpig.com sell personalised cards which are a sure success. However one read ' Andrew you and I are pretty usual. I am pretty and you are usual'. Anyone who sends that card is surely missing the point, maybe they think Valentines Day means 'dumping day!'
Now there are many opinions about the necessity of Valentines Day. Some believe it is just a product of consumerism designed to exploit the public and tarnish one of the true and honest things we have left in life; love. Others however enjoy the date, as they see it as an excuse to devote time and attention to their partner, that they wouldn't normally be able to. The argument to this however is, that couples should say 'I love you' everyday and so should not need to feel united by a date in order to show their love. Some however would say that an overuse of the phrase destroys its honesty and so they save it for personal special occasions only and not ones universally accepted.
I find that the importance of Valentines Day to a couple usually depends on the length of their relationship. Those in the honeymoon period might use the day as an excuse to be romantic, on the other hand a married couple might use it to re-capture their romance. I guess the whole premise is very subjective (There goes that word again!)
The single most infuriating aspect of the holiday has to be that its existence ensures that anyone who is single on that faithful date feels more alone and undesirable than any other day. I would guess that the most affected are single women who often feel like they need a man in order to function, or those recently dumped by a partner or even widowers. It is funny to think that a man-made tradition has become so widely observed and considered over the years that we allow it to take over our lives and our emotions. There are even Anti-Valentines Day bashes in some parts of America for those that want to openly show their distaste for the commercialised day!
Valentines day at my Secondary school was always fun, there would be a red post box at the front, where people could post their valentines. This was of course great for those that received multiples and humiliating for those that sat with none come February 14th (that was me...) Some parents acknowledged the difficulties of this and often wrote and sent mystery valentines to their children, so they would invest in the excitement of guessing who might have written to them, rather than commiserating their absent card. (I got one a few years running and knew it was my Mum!...if it wasn't please come forward now!)
Seems it all comes back again to this need for a happy ending...or maybe just a need to feel happy, a need for something out of the ordinary, something to look forward to, a need to be spoilt, to feel special, to feel important, to feel loved. I guess we all get used to our everyday lives and if that life includes a partner we get used to them being there and forget sometimes how much they mean to us or how empty we would feel if they were not there anymore.
One of the nice things this day achieves is the belief that it is okay to be demonstrative with love. We can openly and loudly tell someone we love them and not feel embarrassed or exposed but just content and happy that they want to hear it. Shakespeare sums this up beautifully in Macbeth, 'A heart to love, and in that heart, courage, to make love know.'
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
‘It’s just so subjective’...well that’s just a matter of opinion.
The word subjective has been haunting me for some time now. I believe that aside from its original meaning; 'a judgement modified or affected by personal views, experience, or background', the outcome of the terms usage in my experience, is usually associated with negativity and I therefore perceive any use of the word to be an artistic ploy to escape the real situation at hand. Like most colloquialisms it is the epitome of laziness; with no desire to find the appropriate words to help understand a situation, we immediately churn out a well known phrase, understood by all as completely inoffensive as it gives no clear evidence or logical answer. It is championed, anointed and just accepted as a fait accompli. It is the metaphorical, 'sweep it under the rug' statement that by definition defines nothing!
My cynical and perhaps unsubstantiated view of this term is probably it's recent over usage as a reason for unfairness. The regularity that this word appears in my vocabulary or that of others around me in a single day has tripled in recent weeks. The result of my three year degree in musical theatre is drawing near and I look to the person I was when I joined the course. I don't recognise that person....or maybe I don't recognise the person writing this now? The word 'subjective' did not faze me one bit then. I was a big fish from a small pond thrown into a very large pond with lots of other small fishes also struggling to deal with their sudden shrinking size. I was barely eighteen and even though I had grown up with the same dream since the age of five, heard all the stories, endured all the raised eyebrows and remarks of..'That is such a hard business to get into'. I was in complete control of what I wanted and how I was going to achieve it.
Now, two and half years later, with greater knowledge and experience I can barely decide what to wear to an audition, let alone choose the path my life should follow, and be confident that I have the desired skills to lead it there. (Please refrain from making any comments about the typical female obsession with clothes and the need to try on every outfit in the wardrobe, men do it too! This is a complex matter and one I cannot possibly give the full attention to in this post) I am going to squeeze my word of the day back into that sentence. 'The desired subjective skills..' It seems that my entire course is run on the very premise of subjectivity. As you can imagine, when assessment results are in, the bubbling brew of mainly women that is my year group often overspills and tensions run high. It is ironic that I'm complaining as I am attempting to work in a industry where opinions are the gospel and so I forget that in every second of our lives an opinion is formed of us, irrelevant of industry,vocation or the weather. A wise man once told me, that opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one and they all stink! Now that is an objective statement.
I don't think I will ever agree with the use of subjectivity as an excuse for unfairness, however I am learning that you cannot be appreciated by everyone and to echo my previous post, if we spend out lives concentrating on one singular negative judgement made of us we may never get a happy ending. What's a happy ending though? It's just so subjective!
My cynical and perhaps unsubstantiated view of this term is probably it's recent over usage as a reason for unfairness. The regularity that this word appears in my vocabulary or that of others around me in a single day has tripled in recent weeks. The result of my three year degree in musical theatre is drawing near and I look to the person I was when I joined the course. I don't recognise that person....or maybe I don't recognise the person writing this now? The word 'subjective' did not faze me one bit then. I was a big fish from a small pond thrown into a very large pond with lots of other small fishes also struggling to deal with their sudden shrinking size. I was barely eighteen and even though I had grown up with the same dream since the age of five, heard all the stories, endured all the raised eyebrows and remarks of..'That is such a hard business to get into'. I was in complete control of what I wanted and how I was going to achieve it.
Now, two and half years later, with greater knowledge and experience I can barely decide what to wear to an audition, let alone choose the path my life should follow, and be confident that I have the desired skills to lead it there. (Please refrain from making any comments about the typical female obsession with clothes and the need to try on every outfit in the wardrobe, men do it too! This is a complex matter and one I cannot possibly give the full attention to in this post) I am going to squeeze my word of the day back into that sentence. 'The desired subjective skills..' It seems that my entire course is run on the very premise of subjectivity. As you can imagine, when assessment results are in, the bubbling brew of mainly women that is my year group often overspills and tensions run high. It is ironic that I'm complaining as I am attempting to work in a industry where opinions are the gospel and so I forget that in every second of our lives an opinion is formed of us, irrelevant of industry,vocation or the weather. A wise man once told me, that opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one and they all stink! Now that is an objective statement.
I don't think I will ever agree with the use of subjectivity as an excuse for unfairness, however I am learning that you cannot be appreciated by everyone and to echo my previous post, if we spend out lives concentrating on one singular negative judgement made of us we may never get a happy ending. What's a happy ending though? It's just so subjective!
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