'The grass is always greener...

on the other side of the fence.' I have heard this phrase many times in the last few days and it seems to be a universally understood concept. The term describes a situation where, 'Other people’s circumstances seem more desirable than one’s own but in reality are often not.'

Humans constantly judge their own lives by measuring what they have against what everyone else has. We are conditioned to strive to be the best, do the right thing, make the correct choice, however our views of other people sometimes taint our better judgement. We can be morally sound and fully aware of right and wrong, however when we deeply desire something and discover that someone else has what we wish for, we can become incredibly dissatisfied with our lives. We then obsess about what we are lacking and totally ignore what we already have.

Often we are totally aware of these obsessions, knowing what we are feeling and aware that it is wrong, but this self-knowledge cannot always provoke us to stop feeling this way. For example, if we are jealous of an other's romantic relationship, it is usually if we happen to be single or going through a rough patch in our love life. Until the latter is over we cannot help but be jealous of those in love. We can become jealous of material objects, such as a car, holiday or simply the good wealth that others have. We often become resentful of others personalities, relationships, experiences and memories. We tend to believe that if we cannot have something, then no-one else should be able to, as this would be unfair. Slightly hypocritical perhaps?

Ideas about human jealousy and resentment have been explored and described over time in a variety of ways. One of The Ten Commandments in The Bible,Exodus 20:2-17, 'You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.' It seems that even God was aware that humans always want what they do not have. Those that believe in him, might ask why he provided us with this dilemma. Perhaps he believes it to be character building as it provides a lesson to be learnt, once recognised. Who knows?

As the definition states, we may think others have more than we do, but the irony is that the people we are jealous of, are probably jealous of us for a different reason. We often suspect others lives are perfect and 'normal', however underneath there are unsolved problems and buried resentments. We need to realise that we cannot have everything or there would be no reason for us to live. Or perhaps we do have everything and that is why we live, to learn this and be grateful for it. Who knows? (ooh Deja-vu)

Whichever way you look at it, yes the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but in the grand subjective scheme of things, that is only our opinion. There are various shades of green, however only one shade is possessed by all of us at some point in our lives. The grass is always green... with ENVY!