My butterfly mind feels a little stagnant. The wings are tired and fluttering seems an effort. Time has stopped, well slowed significantly. I am reasonably busy, many things are moving in the right direction if a few have not budged, yet I feel a bit...still.
It could be a case of the calm after the storm. I feel like sometimes you can have an amazing week, where you are extremely busy, lots happens and you barely have time to breathe. Then in some form of pattern, the following week drags beyond belief. Often this is suspected when we are waiting for something. When we are eager or excited for a particular event, it often seems as though it will never arrive. Then again,if something out of the ordinary or particularly wonderful happens, we become so wrapped up in a state of bliss that anything normal to follow seems mundane and very dull. Sometimes this is not the case at all and we cant seem to find a logical reason for the day's lethargy and so we become frustrated.
I think that our own paranoia can add to this frustration. The slow day makes us feel lethargic and lazy, so we cannot concentrate on anything but our sluggish surroundings and so obsess about them even further. Obviously each person is different. Some love to have hours to kill, watching a film or relaxing. Others find the prospect of an empty day tedious and mind-numbing. As always the concept is subjective.
For now I am unsettled by my unmoving butterflies and I wish they would flutter by. Or maybe they are perfectly happy and my anxiety is simply the anticipation of another cocoon getting ready to open.
Showing posts with label butterflies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label butterflies. Show all posts
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
Tuesday, 23 March 2010
Are you scared of change?
It seems that humans find it hard to deal with the idea of change. Some of course find this more difficult than others. However, I think at one point or another in our lives we will all fight change, when we often need it to win the battle.
It is strange how we can all be so hypocritical about one idea depending on how we are feeling. For example, we sometimes get bogged down in our every day lives, bored with routine, stuck in the same pattern and so we welcome change. We plan a night out to the theatre, bake a cake, or meet up with old friends, just to create something different. These small changes are new and so simply alter our daily lives enough to keep us content. Yet, when changes occur on a larger scale we can start to feel uneasy and therefore afraid. This is because we are always naturally scared of the unknown.
Changes often occur as a result of our behaviour. Relationships break down because one person or both people change, whether emotionally, physically or spiritually. Their desires and wishes change and therefore their needs change. We can sometimes change without knowing it. We start to make decisions and observations that we would not normally and that is when we learn more about ourselves. However hard this process may be, we must wait for the next change to occur, so we can reap the benefits by learning something new, 'Our only security is our ability to change.'John Lilly
I am going to graduate in a few months and that is extremely scary. Leaving the safety of education for the first time, having been safely cocooned in a world of tasks, rules and deadlines for the last sixteen years is daunting to say the least. A certain amount of excitement is present too, however the change comes with a price. I must leave the independent life and friends I have acquired over the last three years and go back, even for a short time, to the life I had before. This will be difficult, as I have now changed as a person and will adapt differently to certain things and people. How I choose do deal with this change will in some way shape the rest of my life.
By definition, to change is 'to make different in some way'. We often associate different with negativity as it is opposed to normality. There are many debates about where normality exists at all, as how can we define what is normal? We can however always easily define a change, as it is immediately out of the ordinary disguised as a crease in the fabric, a chink in our armour or an ornament out of place.
What we need to understand is that all change is healthy. For us to evolve and grow we need to adapt to change, deal with it, embrace it and learn from it. Our lives cannot remain the same for eternity and we should not want them to, or what would the next generation have to work with? John A. Simons demonstrates the idea that everything is governed by change, it is inevitable and we must become accustomed to it. 'If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change.'
Whether anticipated with fear, or welcomed with excitement, changes occur every second of lives and how we choose to greet them, sets into motion another change. I guess changes can be likened to obstacles, these can be high and problematic or simply low and unusual, but we must overcome them all. To live is to change. Summed up quite beautifully by an unknown author:
'If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.'
It is strange how we can all be so hypocritical about one idea depending on how we are feeling. For example, we sometimes get bogged down in our every day lives, bored with routine, stuck in the same pattern and so we welcome change. We plan a night out to the theatre, bake a cake, or meet up with old friends, just to create something different. These small changes are new and so simply alter our daily lives enough to keep us content. Yet, when changes occur on a larger scale we can start to feel uneasy and therefore afraid. This is because we are always naturally scared of the unknown.
Changes often occur as a result of our behaviour. Relationships break down because one person or both people change, whether emotionally, physically or spiritually. Their desires and wishes change and therefore their needs change. We can sometimes change without knowing it. We start to make decisions and observations that we would not normally and that is when we learn more about ourselves. However hard this process may be, we must wait for the next change to occur, so we can reap the benefits by learning something new, 'Our only security is our ability to change.'John Lilly
I am going to graduate in a few months and that is extremely scary. Leaving the safety of education for the first time, having been safely cocooned in a world of tasks, rules and deadlines for the last sixteen years is daunting to say the least. A certain amount of excitement is present too, however the change comes with a price. I must leave the independent life and friends I have acquired over the last three years and go back, even for a short time, to the life I had before. This will be difficult, as I have now changed as a person and will adapt differently to certain things and people. How I choose do deal with this change will in some way shape the rest of my life.
By definition, to change is 'to make different in some way'. We often associate different with negativity as it is opposed to normality. There are many debates about where normality exists at all, as how can we define what is normal? We can however always easily define a change, as it is immediately out of the ordinary disguised as a crease in the fabric, a chink in our armour or an ornament out of place.
What we need to understand is that all change is healthy. For us to evolve and grow we need to adapt to change, deal with it, embrace it and learn from it. Our lives cannot remain the same for eternity and we should not want them to, or what would the next generation have to work with? John A. Simons demonstrates the idea that everything is governed by change, it is inevitable and we must become accustomed to it. 'If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change.'
Whether anticipated with fear, or welcomed with excitement, changes occur every second of lives and how we choose to greet them, sets into motion another change. I guess changes can be likened to obstacles, these can be high and problematic or simply low and unusual, but we must overcome them all. To live is to change. Summed up quite beautifully by an unknown author:
'If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.'
Thursday, 4 February 2010
I want the fire back....
I'm enraged with the words of Buffy The Musical in attempt to get back what I have lost. Yes that's right, it has got that bad.
On a serious note I do feel slightly....lost. As I said in a previous post, I don't seem to recognise myself. I'm constantly, questioning, checking, doubting, asking why? It's a natural thing I guess, when we are children we don't need to check anything because everything is decided for us, in the main you have clear boundaries, are told right from wrong, good and bad, given the correct path and so you follow it. Ironically though these rules can usually provoke all the wrong path decisions. The further problem then comes when adulthood arrives. So you make the normal adjustments, move away from home, create an appropriate but necessary distance from your parents and the worlds your oyster. Only what if you have no faith that you will find the pearl?
Of course each case is different. I know some people change childhood dreams about ten times and still end up doing something different. I have had one dream my entire life. That is now somehow part of the problem. Having one dream now seems rather naive. I guess the main rule is that everyday life is an act in itself. It was of course Shakespeare who famously said, 'the world is a stage and the people in it merely players.' Us performers must put on an act in every audition in order to make ourselves believe that we are the best, while also not seeming arrogant. I used to have that ability, or at least I believed I did. That's what it all comes down to in the end. Self belief. People always say no-one will love you if you don't love yourself. However, we as human begins are never able to provide ourselves with this self love as we see it as act of narcissism ,that we judge in other people as a self-obsessed trait. Someone reminded me today that this existence of self-doubt can lead to further paranoia that then overrides any logical thought. I had to agree with this. It showed me that in our butterfly minds we are constantly waiting for the next metamorphosis, forgetting that we have already completed so many, however small or insignificant we believe them to be. Nature must take its course before the next transformation can begin. Our self-doubt and negative thinking will only hinder this process.
A wise man recently told me that before an audition a good amount of nerves is always needed. He said that the aim is to not get rid of the butterflies in your stomach but just to assure that they fly in formation. This analogy can be applied to everything, the world sends us hiccups and obstacles every day,what we must do is refrain from creating more for ourselves which may upset the butterflies in flight.
On a serious note I do feel slightly....lost. As I said in a previous post, I don't seem to recognise myself. I'm constantly, questioning, checking, doubting, asking why? It's a natural thing I guess, when we are children we don't need to check anything because everything is decided for us, in the main you have clear boundaries, are told right from wrong, good and bad, given the correct path and so you follow it. Ironically though these rules can usually provoke all the wrong path decisions. The further problem then comes when adulthood arrives. So you make the normal adjustments, move away from home, create an appropriate but necessary distance from your parents and the worlds your oyster. Only what if you have no faith that you will find the pearl?
Of course each case is different. I know some people change childhood dreams about ten times and still end up doing something different. I have had one dream my entire life. That is now somehow part of the problem. Having one dream now seems rather naive. I guess the main rule is that everyday life is an act in itself. It was of course Shakespeare who famously said, 'the world is a stage and the people in it merely players.' Us performers must put on an act in every audition in order to make ourselves believe that we are the best, while also not seeming arrogant. I used to have that ability, or at least I believed I did. That's what it all comes down to in the end. Self belief. People always say no-one will love you if you don't love yourself. However, we as human begins are never able to provide ourselves with this self love as we see it as act of narcissism ,that we judge in other people as a self-obsessed trait. Someone reminded me today that this existence of self-doubt can lead to further paranoia that then overrides any logical thought. I had to agree with this. It showed me that in our butterfly minds we are constantly waiting for the next metamorphosis, forgetting that we have already completed so many, however small or insignificant we believe them to be. Nature must take its course before the next transformation can begin. Our self-doubt and negative thinking will only hinder this process.
A wise man recently told me that before an audition a good amount of nerves is always needed. He said that the aim is to not get rid of the butterflies in your stomach but just to assure that they fly in formation. This analogy can be applied to everything, the world sends us hiccups and obstacles every day,what we must do is refrain from creating more for ourselves which may upset the butterflies in flight.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)