I have been thinking lately about how difficult it is to control what we remember, and how much our memories control our lives. Memories are defined as 'an image or impression of one that is remembered'. What we remember is subjective but perhaps it cannot be controlled at all.
Often we believe that it is in our best interest to banish certain memories from our psyche. For example, at the end of an era a mourning process begins and we must focus our attentions upon our new lives. Therefore recalling fond memories, pouring over old photos and mourning over lost laughs can be detrimental to the healing process.
Our time to reflect and remember our past can be quite therapeutic and fill our minds with a time when we experienced great happiness. As Tennessee Williams beautifully describes, 'In memory everything seems to happen to music'. However when our memories are negative we naturally become depressed and wish we could erase them completely.
An ironic part of this process occurs when we try desperately to not think of a certain event, person or specific memory. At this time everything around seems to remind us of exactly what we are trying to forget. Is this an unlikely coincidence? The devil on our shoulder making life extra difficult? Or simply our lack of control exposing itself further?
Naturally it is a waste of time and effort fighting to control something we ultimately cannot. A life with memories, good and bad is better than a life with nothing. We need to remember any lessons learnt, experiences had and dreams that may become realities and if a few reminders and memories help us on the way, then so be it.
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